HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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