We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
