I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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