I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
