i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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