Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
