When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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