I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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