Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
