ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
