Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
