So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
