There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
