It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
