No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
