worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
