i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
