not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
