so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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