let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
