Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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