I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
