Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
