Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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