Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
