When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
