you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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