My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
