I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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