wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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