dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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