Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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