I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize