My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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