Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
