saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize