This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
