I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
where does the pee come out of this thing
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
