my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize