I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
