Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
