then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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