I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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