HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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