I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
