he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
