Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Every concussion has its silver lining
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
