This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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