The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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