Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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