btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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