did you get engaged???
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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