Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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