he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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