smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize