I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
