i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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