Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
