oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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