Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize