it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I touched a dick in church today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
