Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
