I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
