me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
