Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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