just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
