Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
