it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
