Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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