I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize