So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
