I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
