anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just high enough for therapy.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
