this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
