they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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