he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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